Loading... Please wait...

Blog - parenting

What Parents MUST learn from 6 year old Kingston's death...

Posted by

At 1:15am on Thursday, May 18th Ebony Archie pulled up to Kroger because she needed to run in real quick. She left her car running and her 6yr old son, Kingston, in the back seat.


At 9:30am Kingston was found dead.

So much happens between 1:15am & 9:30am.

  • Her car was stolen WITH HER SON IN IT
  • Ebony filed a police report
  • The officer didn’t issue an amber alert until 4:15
  • One of the three 17yr olds who stole the car shot and killed Kingston
  • They dumped his body behind an abandoned warehouse

But the decision to leave her child in a running car was the fatal mistake that will forever break her heart. I don’t say this because I’ve spoken with Ebony, I say it because I am a mother and if this had happened to one of my children I would blame myself.

Family members carried a grief-stricken Ebony Archie, the mother of Kingston Frazier, after learning that the boy was found dead, in Jackson, Miss., on Thursday. ELIJAH BAYLIS / THE CLARION-LEDGER, VIA ASSOCIATED PRESS..

My heart BROKE to see her being carried away grieving. But after I read how it happened I couldn't help but have questions…

Now, somebody will be mad at me for this and that’s ok. I know some of you moms are thinking it, so I’ll SAY it for you,

“Why on earth would you leave your 6yr old child in a running car…after midnight??!! Why mama?”

And Honestly, the time of day that it happened doesn’t matter, but we know most creeps feel freer to act in the dark!

The way my brain works, I’ll give benefit of the doubt first. So it must’ve been SUPER important that she go to the store at that time…maybe even an emergency of some sort. But take an extra minute to take your kid with you!

Now before you say I’m being harsh, unsympathetic, or have bad timing because she JUST lost her son, I say the timing is PERFECT to tell everyone reading this how you can LEARN from this tragedy.

It's also important to know that she's not the only one.  A babysitter in Cathedral City, CA recently had her car stolen with two toddlers in it. They were later found safe. The theft and kidnapping happened when she stepped out to run an errand on a Thursday night.
 

Let’s shift the focus from them to US, and figure out how we can collectively grow and PREVENT the opportunity for something like this to happen.


TWO THINGS...


1. KEEPING OUR KIDS SAFE IS INCONVENIENT


Before having children we could run in and out of the grocery store…no sweat!

We could dash into a gas station, grab some chips and juice, then hop back on the road…no sweat!

We could throw on a cute dress and meet friends at a movie without a second thought…no sweat!

Now all of this requires SO MUCH MORE TIME! When a quick trip to the store was 10 minutes, now it’s 30min prep time followed by 5-10min loading everybody and 30-40min or more in the store. I’m tired just typing it!

But what do I mean by inconvenient?

The reason we can’t so readily throw on that dress to meet friends is not JUST because we have kids, or ONLY because we can’t find a sitter. It’s because we shouldn’t trust any and everybody to watch them. And sometimes that means movie night at home and camping out in the living room with the kiddos.

It also means taking extra time to pack them up for that LONG trip to the grocery store, or just waiting and going later.


2. MOMENTS MATTER

“I’ll just be a minute.”


Have you ever thought this while you left a boiling pot on the edge of the stove with your toddler loose, or walked away from your child in the pool? I could give plenty of examples, but I think we all are guilty of having this moment at least once… but MOMENTS MATTER.

If a couple EXTRA (inconvenient) steps could possibly keep your child safe…or alive, DO IT. Just...DO IT.

Reality check: Mistakes WILL happen on our part as parents. But there are some moments when you make a choice that will either reflect carelessness or caution. In that split second of hesitation, choose caution.

You will also have situations that SEEM safe, but you still get a bad feeling about it. Go with your GUT and DON'T IGNORE that feeling

BUT some scenarios are OBVIOUSLY DANGEROUS and full of red flags!  

Have you ever done it? Left your young kids in the car to run in the store real quick? If so PLEASE don't do it again. Even if you have young teens, you still have to be watchful and pay attention to the environment and if you're getting a bad vibe from it. There's always another way, another choice. And it may mean sacrificing what seems convenient, and it will more than likely take you longer to do what you're trying to do. WORTH IT!

So Mamas, Dads, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Babysitters, Daycare providers, and anybody who has a child in your care for any period of time…

Don’t choose shortcuts over safety.

Our prayers are with this mother and her family who we know are grieving.

View Comments